Spidey Vs Me Vs The Shower Curtain

So I had an interesting morning. How so you ask? THERE WAS A GIANT EFFING SPIDER IN MY SHOWER THATS HOW JERK WAD. I know, I know.. "You're exaggerating on the size..." NO I'M REALLY NOT ASS WIPE! Okay, so I might exaggerate about the size of spiders when I freak out.. pretty much all the time. BUT THIS TIME, Scout's Honor.. it was big.

So let's go ahead and have the rundown. *Que scary music* It started when I turned on the water to let it warm up. I turned my back and started brushing my awesome pearly whites when I saw it out of the corner of my eye.. big.. hairy.. gruesome.. killing machine... my heart started beating as fast as a humming birds wings (great right?)

Seeing as how my roommate was fast asleep and safe in bed, I realized I could not wake her to kill the spider for me.. Pretty sure she would kill me instead of the spider and that would be more gruesome.. I opted to grab my flip flops as soon as I got done with brushing my teeth to kill the zombie spider. When I turned around to assure myself it hadn't moved.. it was GONE. NO WHERE TO BE SEEN GONE- GONE LIKE A FREIGHT TRAIN GONE- GONE LIKE YESTERDAY GONE- (ok im done with country music lyrics). I searched for the beast for a little while and then realized the time. I sucked in a big breath and slowly let it out and stepped into my immanent doom of a shower. I whip the curtain closed and that's when I see it crawling up the shower curtain!!!!! What is this spider? A NINJA!?

I pretty much flew out of the shower.. like Superman. Then it hit me.. I grabbed the shower head and started SOAKING the mother effer AND HE WOULD NOT FALL OFF AND GO DOWN THE DRAIN. So I started shaking the curtain and then he somehow manages to get between the liner and the actual decorative curtain. I told the curtain it was going to have to take one for the team and I flipped it inside the tub and started soaking the whole thing. It kind of looked like a naked rendition of Hokey Pokey with only putting my right hand in and right hand out.. Shake..Soak..Shake..Soak.. Poor shower curtain. The indestructible spider NEVER even flinches!!!!!!!!!! Then I realize I really need to go to work... So I shoved the shower curtain completely against the back and twisted it a bit and took a shower without the curtain. Yup sure did. AND the spider is probably still kicking it alive in the curtain laughing at me in his evil muhahaha laugh.

Spider: 1
Shower Curtain: 0
Me: 0

So-Cal...So-NOT.

So I just looked at the cost for my masters program and I am still trying to scrape my jaw off the ground. EFF. Eff the cost of tuition! Side note, I find it really funny that I absolutely do not like Southern California and here I am planning on going to USC for my masters! Funny how that works. At least I won't be in SoCal for it.

Id-Wyo-Ut

I am excited. Whyyy am I excited you ask? Well, I may not be going to Vegas with my best friend and the boys like we planned next month.. but.. I am going to Idaho! Ha! No Vegas, no laying by the pool, no walking down the strip and drunkenly pinching random dude's butts and no free drinks for only betting pennies.. Oh how I love Vegas.. But alas, I am going back to Idaho to see some fam and show the bestie around.

It will be nice to get outta town for 5 day weekend, even if its just to Poky. The nice thing is, we can go to Jackson for a day and check out the hot cowboys and the neat little shops and be total tourists. Then we can also go to SLC for a day as well and make fun of the funny underwear all the Mormons are wearing (no offense).

I am excited for Wyoming the most. Nothing beats Jackson and the beautiful Tetons. I am excited... Did I mention that before?

Vegas can wait, in fact it is just gonna have to wait a long time.. cause we are doing Mardi Gras in New Orleans... This might get a little crazy with Josh and Derek in tow but it will be ah-mazing.

Primal-Paleo-CaveWOMAN.

So I totally want this shirt. Like its not even an option. Except mine should be 70% instead of 80%.. who are we kidding, beer is def not paleo.

 

But on a serious note, I really do love paleo way of eating. I feel great.. I eat great.. I look great (toot tooooot!-That's the sound of my own horn).

FLYING MONKEYSSS!

Ok, so I never do book reviews.. I find it too time consuming and can't write it out without ruining the book for everyone else. I will mark how many stars I think it deserved after completion though. But here is my rant about the books I have been reading lately.

I have found this new love and appreciation for the NA and self published books. The main characters are around my age and can be easily relatable. Oh you're 25 too!? AND you're trying to thrive in this world as a adult!? Woop! There's TWO things in common right thurrr. BUT what I do not find in common are these mushy-unrealistic man/boys that are rich, shmexy and all consuming-firey-love to the main chick.

Some of the things they say, oh lord.. "Before you, there was no feeling.. there was just darkness.. you lit a fire in my heart and brought me back to life.." Blah blah blah barf. THEN they say it during sex to boot! SERIOUSLY? I feel like I am going to throw up and never have I ever met a man/boy (lets face it- they're not real men) that can think a coherent thought during the bing-bing, let alone when you're just hanging out. And whats with all the growling they do? Are they animals? "He let out a growl before he took off..." Rawr baby.. rawr.. not. The lovey-dovey stuff is really just my complaint in it all.. Oh and the fact that these man/boy characters are sooo possessive! If I told any of my boyfriends I was going out to the bar with a group of friends, they'd be like see ya laterrrr. No questions asked, no limo rented.. nada. And we cant forget how none of these girls need any hygiene maintenance? Legs always shave? Check! Breath always amazing? Check! Smells like Lavender and vanilla? Check! Ummm yeah not me.. nor any other girl I know.

Even with my complaints, I have read some pretty awesome books. The Oppurtunist? Amazing.. then the second book to it? Dirty Red? She be evilllll.. third book? Love dovey schit and christ almighty just stop being retarded you characters! He loves you, you love him, crazy stalker ex is gone and the perp is in the jailhouse.. just quit your bitchin' already and do something about it!

There's my mini rant.. Now I feel like I need to go read a good Stephen King novel...