Cruel and Usual Punishment

I'm a glutton for self inflicted punishment. I know the burner is hot but why not touch it just in case it might be cold? "Do not touch the cactus" my mother told my six year old self and what did I do? Oh I smacked the shit out of the cactus with my whole hand. Think that would teach my kicking and screaming crying six year old self? Nope. You'd think I would have learned by now.

Now in my still young but ever aging 23 year old self, I am still touching cacti and hot burners. Not really but I still like doing things that punish me. Throw a BBQ for my best friend's birthday party and buy most all the food on my unemployed budget when rent is due? Sure! Why not?! Have you seen the prices for red meat lately? Really? I might as well have gone down the road and slaughtered the cow myself. I don't even like red meat.

My mother, bless her heart. Went with me to buy most the groceries to "ensure I'm not over spending". She knows me too well. I walk into the store and start blindly grabbing anything in sight just to get out of the store asa-yesterday. When it came down to buying buns.. And I mean hamburger buns not sexy men.. My mother whips out her trusty handy dandy calculator and tells me to buy 3 bags of one type to save one penny. ONE PENNY! I know she means well but 3 bags versus one bag that could potentially take up less space? I'm going with the one bag. I'll fork out the extra penny this time.

Life lesson of the day? Cruel and usual punishment is worth your best friend having an amazing birthday. Oh and don't touch the cactus. It takes hours to get those prickly thingy majiggers outta your hand.

You wan figh hundrad dolla!?

I am beginning to feel like my ass has developed permanent calluses. There's nothing like netflix to heal the soul of the damned unemployed or spending $63 on make up that you "absolutely have to have" when you're making $5.80/hour on unemployment. So I am picking up a new debatable healthy habit of sitting on my ass and blogging for all my faithful (zero) followers! heyyyy!!!

So let's take a little non entertaining journey of my love life. I know, I know.. you are so excited to hear about the non existent love life. Seriously, non existent. I guess you could say that it has been kind of a funny journey like most people's dating lives. From precious, hot and adorable army boy who has a kid with an old friend that he doesn't know about to the one that just won't commit. Really? So because of this fun journey of mine, it has nailed me the best boyfriend in the world. He's strong, dark and only costs me $30 every time I see him. His name is Jose Cuervo. Thank you Jose for giving me some great nights flat on my ass and wondering how I got home. You're a real trooper for sticking by my side in my time of need. I love that you whisper sweet nothings in my ear instead of squaking in my ear like that damn grey goose. To Wanda!!!

Now I am off to go do more exciting things on my ass like browse netflix.

Until next time.. Ovah and out!