Anatomy, Physiology and.. baby showers?

You know it is going to be a long day when... your anatomy book is sitting on your desk at work and your warehouse manager asks to flip through it to look at dirty pictures. NO you may not use my very expensive text book to look at pictures of naked women!..orrr men?

Once again, new term of school has started! I passed the dreadful chemistry class without any incidents of my own.. Although a guy did spill hydrochloric acid on my hoodie..that was fun.

I think A&P assignments that are 73 questions in length and only worth 10 points total is a sick, sick, sick torture method inflicted on students. 10 POINTS!? I stayed up till 1 am finishing an assignment that will only get me a whole 10 points. Towanda!

On a brighter side, I am glad the baby shower I hosted for my friend is OVER. I love her dearly but the next kid she pops out, someone else is taking dibbs on the shower. I really didn't think baby showers would be that time consuming! Especially when all I said was that I would help with the shower.I also believe that we are all adults here, why the hell do you need prizes when you guessed how much yarn it would take to go around a huge pregnant belly?? I think a high five or hey sweet guessing abilities would have sufficed. Nothing like a few cheesey baby shower games to get the blood flowing! None the less, of course it was a success and it was a blast. I can't wait to meet little Avahlyn Elizabeth!

Chemical Burns

I have decided Chemistry class on a Saturday morning at 8:00 am was invented by a mentally derrainged individual out to get the poor working college students. On a brighter side, I have not burned down the chemisty lab room nor have I caught myself on fire...yet. I still have 5 more Saturdays of torture so there is room for accidental pyrotechnics or chemical burns.

Also, I think it has been decided that for my birthday I will be dressing up as a questionable looking Mrs Santa Claus and joining in with hundreds of other questionable looking Santa Clauses. What? WHY you ask?! Its the anual Santa Pub Crawl. What better way to spend my quarter of a century old birthday by joining in with hundreds of drunk Santas and going to 20 different bars in Portland!? I can already here the jingling of sleigh bells to the tune of christmas carols, drunken sluring singing of said carols and clacking of knee high boots that kill your feet. I cant wait..

And just because it is almost Halloween and it is after all, one of my favorite holidays...

On Halloween...each neighborhood Glows so friendly, warm and good! Yet every town so safe and sleepy Has its side that's dark and creepy... Within these shadows -- dark and rotting, Lurks a mind perverse and plotting. Eye of this... skin of that, These potions perk in seconds flat! CURSES! Children having fun...?! Surely something MUST be done. Heartless, hateful, tempting, truth-less. How can one witch BE so ruthless? What happens next...? Must not be seen, Just go enjoy YOUR Halloween, No bumps in the night, no witches to visit... Nothing wicked is coming YOUR way now -- . . . or is it?    --- yup totally stole that from an E-Card. Go me!

Yup I did it again

That's right, yours truly started something and didn't finish. WHAT!? Yeah it happens all the time. I am beginning to think I should make a profession out of it. Then again, I wouldn't get paid because I wouldn't be finishing it..

So of course I am still unemployed... but wait! What's that? I went back to school! Of course not to finish the degree I had started. I actually changed my major again. Go me!

Something also changed during my sabbatical, I got myself a real boyfriend! So I had to say goodbye to my last boyfriend. You remember him right? Tall, tan, smoothe... goes by the name of Jose Cuervo and only costs me $15.95 for every 1/5th dose I need of him. My boyfriend is kind though. He still let's me visit him from time to time though. He said something about how it makes me easier... maybe. That's ok too. The only thing that bothers me about is that he wants me to share! SO RUDE! I tell him he is not allowed and that it is gross and i refuse to share another man with him. Jeez, what was he thinking?

Anyway, I'm off to let my head snuggle with a nice, warm body of a pillow.

Cruel and Usual Punishment

I'm a glutton for self inflicted punishment. I know the burner is hot but why not touch it just in case it might be cold? "Do not touch the cactus" my mother told my six year old self and what did I do? Oh I smacked the shit out of the cactus with my whole hand. Think that would teach my kicking and screaming crying six year old self? Nope. You'd think I would have learned by now.

Now in my still young but ever aging 23 year old self, I am still touching cacti and hot burners. Not really but I still like doing things that punish me. Throw a BBQ for my best friend's birthday party and buy most all the food on my unemployed budget when rent is due? Sure! Why not?! Have you seen the prices for red meat lately? Really? I might as well have gone down the road and slaughtered the cow myself. I don't even like red meat.

My mother, bless her heart. Went with me to buy most the groceries to "ensure I'm not over spending". She knows me too well. I walk into the store and start blindly grabbing anything in sight just to get out of the store asa-yesterday. When it came down to buying buns.. And I mean hamburger buns not sexy men.. My mother whips out her trusty handy dandy calculator and tells me to buy 3 bags of one type to save one penny. ONE PENNY! I know she means well but 3 bags versus one bag that could potentially take up less space? I'm going with the one bag. I'll fork out the extra penny this time.

Life lesson of the day? Cruel and usual punishment is worth your best friend having an amazing birthday. Oh and don't touch the cactus. It takes hours to get those prickly thingy majiggers outta your hand.

You wan figh hundrad dolla!?

I am beginning to feel like my ass has developed permanent calluses. There's nothing like netflix to heal the soul of the damned unemployed or spending $63 on make up that you "absolutely have to have" when you're making $5.80/hour on unemployment. So I am picking up a new debatable healthy habit of sitting on my ass and blogging for all my faithful (zero) followers! heyyyy!!!

So let's take a little non entertaining journey of my love life. I know, I know.. you are so excited to hear about the non existent love life. Seriously, non existent. I guess you could say that it has been kind of a funny journey like most people's dating lives. From precious, hot and adorable army boy who has a kid with an old friend that he doesn't know about to the one that just won't commit. Really? So because of this fun journey of mine, it has nailed me the best boyfriend in the world. He's strong, dark and only costs me $30 every time I see him. His name is Jose Cuervo. Thank you Jose for giving me some great nights flat on my ass and wondering how I got home. You're a real trooper for sticking by my side in my time of need. I love that you whisper sweet nothings in my ear instead of squaking in my ear like that damn grey goose. To Wanda!!!

Now I am off to go do more exciting things on my ass like browse netflix.

Until next time.. Ovah and out!